In Case I Don't Post In The Next Few Days.....

I hope everyone has a wonderful

Christmas filled with peace and love.

Part II

So Monday has come and gone. In fact it's Friday and I still haven't seen the guy I gave $200.00 to do the yard. In all fairness, he did call Monday to tell me that he was sick and would be here as soon as he recovered. I suppose I should say that the yard that is fenced is about an acre. There are large limbs, and junk that needs to be remoes, I agree that $200.00 seems like alot of money but it's alot of work,...if it gets done. If not I am going to have to learn to use a chainsaw.

The Act of Trusting.....

It had all of the earmarks of a very small scam but then I live in a very small town. Mother wanted the weeds taken care of and this guy needed work. He worked for a day and needed money......He for several hours the next day and needed more money.....There was a misunderstanding about what was expected .....He needed to rent a shredder,more money....The rental price had gone up... Now it will be Monday before he can come out here to finish the job. I still think he will finish the job. With all of the crap that is going on I still want to believe.

I Have So Much For Which To Be Thankful.....

The past week has been very difficult. I had to deal with the probate of my father's will and going through his things. With all of the emotional upheaval, we survived. Aaron handled things with a strength that far exceeded his 20 years. He propped me up, loaded the truck and drove us home.

The most wonderful thing happened after we returned home. Things that I had wondered about, questions I that had.....I received my answers in a dream. My life has changed.

I hope you had an opportunity to be thankful; not for things....but for what is really important in life.

"I sing because I'm happy. I sing because I'm free. His eye is on th sparrow and I know He's watching me."

Something I don't want to do......

Throughout our lives we do hundreds, maybe thousands of things we don't want to do. It's time to "settle the estate", which means we are going to go through my father's things and decide what to do with everything. Along with all of these things will be memories of a wonderful man.
I have always had an attachment, not to things, but the stories they have. I didn't realize it was so much a part of me until last summer. I went to my daughter's house and saw an old wooden barrel that she had gotten out of storage to use on the front porch. She told John that I would not only recognize it but would know a story about it.
It's going to be very emotional.

Impact.....

Life has been a real puzzle for me. Through no fault of my own and to the great surprise of the police in my hometown, I made it to my 21st birthday. Now that I have added another 39 years (WOW!) I am still wondering why. I am not as self destructive and am more comfortable with myself. There were many years that I didn't sing; not even with the radio. In the last few years I find myself singing or humming. It makes me feel good.
Then I saw this video. I do hope the link works. Simple things....If not, go to Simple Truths.com and look for the movie about Johnny.

http://www.stservicemovie.com/

I am a member of the Llano Estacado Clay Guild in Lubbock. Last night was our fund raiser for the Childrens Hospital. Although I have been a member for 3 years, this was my first opportunity to participate in the Wishing Bowl Event. It was fun and someone bought a painting I donated. YEA!

The Visit....

Today I went to visit my uncle. It's a drive that takes a little less than 2 hours across a rather bland landscape. It's a drive that I haven't taken often enough. My uncle, Victor was Daddy's older brother by 3 years. They were also friends. This morning I called to see if I could come over for a visit.
After we went through the greetings, Victor told me how much he missed Daddy. He said that he was his buddy. We talked about him not being able to see him before died. Several times our eyes filled with tears as we shared memories. Daddy and Victor were so much alike in looks and mannerisms. They even sounded alike. The visit was bitter sweet.

We finally did it......

Today was a very big day for us. After being without a church for several years we joined the First Methodist Church. By "we" I mean my mother, my son and myself. I have written about the 'organized religion' concerns of mine before so I won't go over that again. However I must say how pleased I am that my son has joined. I can't help but feel that some of his decision was due to his grandfather's death. He has chosen a good role model. 

P.I.T.A. or other places

I received this article on chronic pain and thought it might be of interest to someone. At my place in life most people I know either have or know someone with chronic pain.

http://www.bottomlinesecrets.com/article.html?article_id=46677

I must be doing better. I'm trying to rescue the world again.

Metal and Beethoven

patricia nelson
Yesterday I attended a Symposium at Texas Tech University on Jewelry and Metalsmithing. I was there at 9:00 a.m. and the first speaker was at 10:00. There were 4 speakers during the day. Some sparked my interest more than others. All were affiliated with other Universities. I missed the the point of first speaker. The second was sweet and colorful but I couldn't identify with her work which was more art than functional jewelry. I was beginning to be concerned about the afternoon speakers and said as much over lunch to others attending the symposium.
Well, the first speaker of the afternoon was someone who did beautiful work. She used different metals, cold connections, etching, enameling and raising to create her pieces. I found in looking at the slides I wanted to get closer or view them from another angle. I wanted to see more. That's what I like. I want to be intrigued. I looked for images of Patricia Nelson's and Lisa Gralnick's work but didn't find many images that I liked.
Last night I went to hear the Lubbock Chorale performing Bass in C Major, op. 86, Meeresstills und gluckliche Fahrt, Op122 and Fantasy for Piano, Chorus and Orchestra, Op.80. I am fortunate to have wonderful friends who keep me relatively sane by including me when they attend wonderful events like this. It was a very full day that ended on a wonderful note.

I was suppose to attend a cookout and rock swap with the Gem and Mineral Society but was just too tired. I still geek out on rocks so it's nice to be around people occasionally whose eyes don't glaze over when I talk about rocks.

Choir Practice...

I attended choir practice last night and it was relatively painless. There were about 15 people there and there was no was to lose myself in the crowd. They were rehearsing the music for the Cantata that will be done in December. At this time I am singing alto so it too awhile for me to adjust from my tenor mindset. Usually choirs need tenors. I always sang tenor with Daddy when I visited his church.
So I'm sitting there sight reading the music and thought, "I can't wait to show this to Daddy". Not the first time I have had a "Daddy" moment and I know it won't be the last.

Continued....

October 15, 2008 - Just before I went to Arkansas to help care for my father I heard that my college choir director, who is an ordained Methodist minister, would be moving to the FUMC in Brownfield. It was confirmation that it was time to go back to church. I was in contact with her during the time I was in Arkansas and she was one of the people I called when my father died. My mother, son and I have attended services for the past two weeks and are ready to join. I am still afraid. Several of the people who caused so much trouble at the other church are at FUMC. I don’t want to deal with them. My reluctance aside, I am attending choir practice tonight.
If this seems to be anti-climactic, it really isn't. Attending church has brought back the pain of the other one's death. One that I have not dealt with. Even years later I cannot discuss it without tears. I avoid driving past the building where I spent years working and worshiping. Now, I will be nest door.

I think I am ready....

When I moved to West Texas in 1995 it was to escape a bad marriage and help care for my grandmother who was dying. During the first month in Brownfield I got to know a special man and his wife. My grandmother had been a member of the FBC for 72 years. I have no idea how much money or time she gave during that time. She was a faithful member. The preacher, who had been at that church for many years, came to visit twice.
On the other hand there was a minister from the Presbyterian Church, where my mother and step-father were members. Several times a week either he or his wife came to the hospital. When he walked in he would address my grandmother and speak to her. She was the most important person in the room.
I spent ten years working in every aspect of that church. Like most churches in small towns the membership was shrinking. This church had the extra problem of having controlling,destructive spirits who wanted to get rid of the minister and close the church. It took several years to get rid of him and sell the building. A few of us tried to keep the small group together while the rest moved on to other churches.
I was told that there would be a grieving process akin to that accompanying a death. To me this was not a death but a murder. I had no way to come to grips with a senseless murder of a church. Four years later I am still dealing...or not. I didn't visit other churches or consider joining somewhere else because I didn't want to go through that again. I had not lost my faith in God but people.
To be continued.....

Thursday....

We are going to the nursing home tomorrow to sing. I'm not sure that I will be able to get through it but I guess that's okay. The people there won't think anything of it if I cry. Maybe I should go to bed and see if things look better in the morning.

It's been two weeks.....

I'm not sure what I'm feeling or even how I'm feeling. I suppose I am in what might be considered a grief induced semi-comatose state. I am awake, walking and talking but can't function on the most primitive level. I start to do something and get side tracked. I am overwhelmed by simple things. There is so much that needs to be done and yet I can't do anything.
This is the first time I have buried a parent so I don't have anything to use for comparison. So will there come a time when I can make sense of things, understand which key goes into the ignition and know why I am standing in the grocery store? How does a person get over the death of a parent? My life has changed forever.

Cliff Horn

My father was buried on Saturday, September 27, 2008 in Coleman Texas. For me, the day was a blur but I wanted to share a little bit with you. My father had a sweet tooth. Considering the size of it people who knew him were always amazed that he never had a weight problem. Daddy would eat breakfast, mid-morning snack, lunch, mid-afternoon snack, dinner, night time snack. Each meal was ended with a "quiting bite" that was usually sweet and there was always candy in the house. He loved chocolate!!!
When we were discussing the arrangements I asked my sister if we had talked about flowers. I have never liked the big "family spray" that is usually on the casket and said as much. Now if they could do something with Snickers and Baby Ruth's that would be more like him and everyone could share the candy after the service.
Well, this is it. I thought it came out very well.

Preparing for the worst....

She changed the obituary and emailed me a copy. I can't even discuss this now.

Cliff Horn

This morning we said good bye to our father. It has been a difficult journey and we are grateful that he is at peace. The plans haven't been finalized but he will be going back to Coleman, Texas to his beloved First United Methodist Church where we want to celebrate his life. So far it looks like that will be Saturday. We would like to try to get some rest before making the trip to Coleman.
I want to thank you for your encouragement and support. I wish I had the ability to express myself but I can only hope that you know what I am trying to say. I talked to my friend and minister this afternoon She said that she could imagine a scenario where everyday God would ask, "Cliff, are you ready to come home?" And he would answer, "Not yet. I don't think they are ready" This morning when God asked he said, "Yes Father, I am ready. They will be okay "

It's Jeremy

Jeremy was born Monday night and weighed in at 7 pounds 11 ounces and was 19.5 inches long. Everyone is fine.
We are watching Hurricane Ike.

and still.....

I never cease to be amazed at the power of the human spirit. Daddy's heart continues to beat. Occasionally there is an extra beat but his heart, that has been beating for almost 91 years, is still going.
In two days I will have a new grandson. I can't help but feel some regret that I will not be present for the beginning of a new life because I am here for the end of another.

It's another day....

We have to make a cool whip run every 3-4 days. Daddy has made a new food group for cool whip and eats it on almost everything. As far as I am concerned, he can have anything he wants. When we go shopping we buy at least 5 cartons. I’m quite sure that someone it going to notice the quantities and questions its use, contact the DEA to see if cool whip can be used in the production of illegal drugs and since most of our shopping is done in Missouri, there could be trafficking charges. Yes, I’m losing my mind. Thankfully there wasn’t much to lose.

Last night,before we went to sleep, we talked with Daddy. He told us that he had seen glimpses of the other side and it's beautiful. I remind him that he has 2 strong daughters and we will be okay. Our lives were shaped by having him in our lives and will be forever changed by his passing.

and so it goes....

It's hard to believe that the saga continues. Every day he is a little weaker; less involved with this world. So we wait for his release and care for him as best we can.

continued

Monday was a day of ups and downs. It will probably be like that for the duration. Tuesday
was a day of sleep, low blood pressure and liquids. We prepared ourselves even though it
was unsoken. Patty, the night angel, was there to keep him comfortable as only she can.We
went to bed feeling that sometime during the night, Patty would wake us because the
situation had worsened. Instead, when we awoke, he was wide awake and eating.Tuesday afternoon he was asleep again and wouldn't awaken for a Cherry Lime Slushy from
Sonic delivered by his nurse. We spooned slushy and freezer pops into his mouth and turned
him every two hours.Wednesday his BP shot up, 210/108. We took his BP every 2 hours before we changed and turned
him. He was awake for a short visit with Cary, Tiffany and Avery Kate, who were on their
way to pick up Allison and Ryan at camp. When Patty arrived we were trying to deal with his
BP, adding medication and taking his BP every hour until almost midnight.So, it's Thursday! This morning Patty had almost him washed, fluffed and floded when I got
up. He was ready for a fruit plate with lots of cool whip,bacon and pancakes. After a short
nap he was ready for another visit.The Dooley clan showed up with Catfish John's. There wasn't any point in fixing french
fries. They were pushed aside to make way for 2 1/2 pieces of catfish. After visiting for
awhile, listening to camp stories and going through a couple of old photo albums the group
got back in the car for the drive home and we all took a nap. J

Qnother Day

Today has started to be a “not so good “ day. Daddy has slept most of the day and isn’t eating. The fact that he isn’t eating is noteworthy since he has always eaten three meals and three snacks a day for most of his life. Today it has been nothing but banana pudding and ice pops. His blood pressure has dropped, respiration is shallow and there is very little communication. Judy, the Hospice nurse, came by and wasn’ t able rouse him. Not even a Cherry LimeAde from Sonic was enough to get him to open his eyes.
I understand that each day we get closer to the end of this life and the beginning of another for all of us. In looking at the letters and cards from people whose lives he had touched I am warmed by the feelings that are conveyed. He was my teacher, too. He was also my biggest critic demanding perfection that I was unable to attain. I saw him as a cool, distant stranger who lived in our house until I was 14 years old. That was the relationship, or lack thereof, that I had with my father for many years. I tried to please and failed.
The big change came after I was an adult. We became friends as well as father and daughter. My sister and I have been given an opportunity to care for our father as he leaves this life and starts the next. She has told him that we will hold his hand as long as we can on this journey until he takes the hand that is reaching out to take him to the other side.

My Father Is Dying

It has been a roller coaster. Yesterday was a good day. Last night and today have not been so good. He has been very restless which means that we are staying close. There is very little communication; a whispered word or nod of his head. We have had time to talk about the past and tell him the good things we remember.
Angela wrote about going to the ranch and cooking hotdogs in the dry creek bed. She remembered Daddy catching an Armadillo by the tail and dragging it out of it’s hole so everyone could see it up close. He let it go but that was one mad armadillo. The next morning we all piled into the back of the truck to go out and look for deer. They were always there if we looked hard enough.
I loved to watch Daddy work in the garage. I’m sure it was to keep me busy but he would give me some scraps of wood and a hand drill. I would make holes and nail things together and had a wonderful time. I still love the smell of freshly cut wood.
A few minutes ago Jacqui asked him if he was okay. He nodded and in a whisper asked if we were okay. She told him that he might have noticed, his daughters are pretty strong women.
This time that we have with him is special. I am very fortunate to be with my father at this time. It’s a time of healing for all three of us.

My Father...

My father is dying. I know that from the moment of birth we are all dying but it's now time for him. After almost 91 years his heart has worn out, hospice was called in 6 weeks ago and his body is going through it's re-birthing process.
I'm lucky. I was able to know my father as a person. In the last 10 years I have been able to visit with him. We have hit the Texas Fort Trail and visited countless museums. He convinced me that I could start college at 54 and I gave him the honor of putting the parking sticker on my car as well as framing my first Dean's List certificate. He supported my arts by helping me set up for my first art show, attending many concerts and watching The Music Man because I had worked on the sets even though he had to travel 400 miles to do so. We got to talk about our childhoods. I got to find out where my great grand parents are buried and heard stories of going to Tabernacle Meetings in a wagon. We both apologized for things that happened during my teen years,my parents divorce, my rebellion, and we became friends. We sang together in his church choir when I visited him and he did the same when he came here
Yes, I am lucky. I not only have a father, I have a friend and I will be holding his hand and singing.when he goes home.

Unseasonable Season....

This year has been an odd one for weather. Nothing has gone according to norm. Right now it is overcast and cool at 76 degrees. The humidity is 46% compared to last week when the humidity was 13% and it was 104. What could account for this? Global warming? Flatulent cows? I believe this is part of the changes that come naturally to the earth and all that are part of it. Don't get me wrong. We should take care of the earth. The Creator made it and has allowed us to be part of it. We have made a disposable society. That has made us believe that things have little value. As I get older I see the beauty in the little things. I have to remind myself to stop and enjoy.
Take what someone has thrown away and see it with new eyes. This is a piece from a horsehair pot that a friend made. I now have several potters saving things for me. Added to the "rejects" I make......I'm going to be busy for a long time.

Wine and Clay

The first week of June was the Wine and Clay Festival held at the Llano Winery in Lubbock. Since I am a member of the clay guild I was there to help (not much) and demonstrate metal working. I had a wonderful time and sold a few things. The weather on Saturday was horrible with a sand storm that kept crowds away. Thank goodness, the artists are inside. I think on Sunday they figured this would be their last shot for a year. The winds were down and the people came out. The wine was wonderful, the people were great......
This year the festival and scholarship fund were dedicated to Jana Hill. Jana was the founder and coordinator for 10 years. Jana died last Fall, shocking everyone. She was and will be remembered and missed.
Here is a picture of me at the festival. The wine glass has nothing to do with the angle of the photo.

About my father......

I met my daughter,Shana, and her daughter in Arlington Friday, May30. We had a chance to visit the 2 oldest sons and their families before continuing on to Northwest Arkansas the next day to visit my father. I had my 2 grand daughters who live in West Texas with me so the cousins got to visit.

My father was in the hospital from May 26 to June 4 after having a "spell" at the rehab. center. They did more testing and, after talking to several doctors, the decision was made to "do no harm." The general consensus was that his heart functionality was low. A double heartbeat was causing spells that seemed almost like seizures. Having a defibrillator implanted was ruled out. On June 6th he was released from the hospital to go to my sisters house with hospice care. We toured Hospice House in Springdale but it was full. It's a beautiful place where people can live and die with dignity.

Even though he was in the hospital, he enjoyed seeing 3 of his great-grand daughters. His coloring improved as did his general strength. He still put away more food than most and was thrilled with the chocolate that Shana brought for him. The girls made enough get well pictures to paper a room. With photos of all of the grand and great grand children taped to the closet door in his hospital room, he had many reminders of how much he is loved.

We had to leave June 3 because Emily was to start summer school. Also, I had an art show this past weekend in Lubbock.

So we take each day as it comes, not knowing what is in the future.

He is in the hospital.....

My father is in the hospital again...over 600 miles away.
I am very unhappy that my sister has taken Daddy so far away from everything and everyone he knows. After V J died Daddy and I talked about what he wanted if the time came that he was unable to take care of himself. It was agreed that as long as it was possible, he would stay in Coleman. If that became a problem he would come here where he still knows people. Susie now claims that he asked her to take care of him.

The first time she took Daddy to Arkansas for tests, to get him away from the quacks, she said she couldn't wait to get him out of that "little old house." She will not consider him coming to Brownfield because no one should live in this "Hell Hole".

Susie has always had her own reality and I learned as a child that to confront her was to get hurt. As she got older she learned that she could stop me with a carefully chosen comment. She knew my weakness. I was never good enough, thin enough, had a nice enough house,...I can remember her coming to visit me in my home once, in our entire adult lives, and she re-cleaned to shower.
Right now I have to over come my cowardice and try to get the money together to go see my father .



He is beginning to remember.....

It has taken me several weeks to process and digest this information; something I had dreaded for 13 years. When I had children my main goal was to protect them and keep them safe. I failed.
One morning I walked into the kitchen. It was evident that my son, who was 19 at the time, had stayed up all night and that he had gotten into the liquor. Not being a serious drinker, I didn't have much. There were 2 bottles of beer , a little amaretto, a couple of ounces of vodka, various drip and drops.... I was irritated that he would do something like that and went into the living room where he was asleep on the couch. It was then that I saw the 4/10 shotgun.
I let him sleep.
After I had let him rest and I had time to compose myself I sat and watched this man/child sleep. When he awoke my first words were, "You need to talk to me".
After several protestations with my assuring him that there wasn't anything he couldn't talk to me about, he started crying. He finally said that he was starting to remember things. I managed to stand up and walk over to the couch. I cried and he cried. He talked, I listened. I hugged him and told him how much I loved him.
When I was able to speak I said, "Do you know what a miracle you are?" I told him about the people who had worked so hard to protect him and keep him safe. He talked about the time he was in CPS care to keep Dan and his father from taking him. He remembers bits and pieces of the abuse......for now.
and so I ask the question, again, that no one can answer: Why would anyone abuse a child?

Roller Coaster Ride.....

The thing about roller coasters rides is that you know at some point the crazy highs and stomach dropping dips will stop and you will be able to get off. Real life......not so easy.
I am riding and can't get off.
My father is in the hospital. He is improving but at 90+ years I have to recognize that there will an end. I'm not ready...
I have been fortunate in the last 20 years or so to be able get to know my father as a person. We have traveled along the Texas Forts Trail, visited museums and sought out old cemetery's looking for ancestors. I learned where he was born (about 15 miles from the town of record) and where he had his first teaching job. I have walked the campus of the college he attended and know that he mowed the grass and waited tables to make money.
In turn he convinced me that I could start college at 54, attended concerts, saw my artwork hanging in a show and watched the Music Man because I did the sets. He had faith in me. He saw in me what I couldn't see in myself.
Last summer my sister decided that Daddy needed to go home with her "to have some tests run". He was having problems drinking enough water which, among other things, caused episodes of dementia. Now instead of being 3 hours away he is 13. To add to the problem gas prices have doubled. I know my sister is stressed about taking care of him but refuses to allow him to come here which she refers to as a "Hell Hole". If he were here there would be a larger family unit to help care for him...
I am hoping to have the money to go see him this summer.

Church.....

I suppose I need to start attending church somewhere. I know it would mean a lot to my mother. She is 84 and doesn't have a church to call home. I haven't attended a church service (funerals don't count) in several years. I don't have a problem with God. I don't like "churches". This was my first experience with people deciding that a church "needed to close". It had started long before I got there but I ended up caught in the collapse and was buried in the rubble when the building was sold and contents .....who would have thought a Baptist minister could lie so glibly.
Maybe God should have a disclaimer: The opinions expressed by ______ are not necessarily those of God.
Oh yes, you might be wondering if the church I am talking about was some far out, animal sacrificing cult. No, the church that had to be closed, the minister that had to be removed was Presbyterian. This minister and his wife gave back more money than he was paid. He gave his time and devoted his life to his calling. Close to 100 young people came through the youth group on Wednesday evening over a 10 year period. They came to have a hot meal and learn about God. They were taught to give of themselves when they had projects to repair a roof or fix a driveway for someone who couldn't do it themselves. A day working for Habitat for Humanity ended with hot dogs and games. Retreats for high schoolers who couldn't afford to attend were often paid for out of his pocket in the form of a "scholarship". He was there because he was called.
and so...... I need to find a church for my mother......God help me.

April 23

Today is my birthday and I realize that for many this would be a bit traumatic. You see, today I am 60 years old. I often say (laughing) that I never thought I would live this long and that's very true. For what ever reason, that doesn't matter now, I have spent much of my life in self destruct mode. I had no intention of getting out of my teens alive and much to the amazement of many, I did.
And now I not only have survived 6 decades but I am relatively content with my life. I am blessed to still have my parents and although they have health issues they are alive. My children and grandchildren are healthy. They are my joys.
I don't own a big fancy house but I have a roof over my head. I didn't buy any steaks when I went to the store today but made 2 chicken breasts feed 3 of us fajitas. I don't have a checking account, savings account or credit card. Yes, it would be nice to have more money since I put my last $7.00 in my gas tank but I will make it.
I had calls and e cards from family and friends today who remembered and took the time to let me know they cared.
I didn't get everything done today that I intended but I got a good start. Tomorrow will be another day and another chance.
Today I am content with who I am; fat and graying. I am broke but not broken. I am making jewelry, painting, throwing pots or singing.......I'm sixty! WOO-HOO!

Intelligent Life....

It seems that astrophysicist Stephen Hawking has proposed that there may be unintelligent life out there. I don't know why that is so far fetched. We have unintelligent life right here. Just look at our elected officials.

Last week....

Spring Break..... a break from what? I, for one, am exhausted. I made a 1200 mile trip with 2 kids(7&8) in 5 days.
We had a wonderful visit (too short) and tried to cram 2 weeks into 5 days. I am so glad we went since it seems that my daughter and her family will be moving 1,000 miles farther away. That means that I will see them less frequently than I do now. My granddaughter will be 9 in a few weeks. She will be grown and in college in a blink of an eye. Even though I am sure this move will be good for all concerned.....From west Texas to South Carolina is a long way.

She was in the hospital.....

My life is rarely dull. Last Friday as I was getting the girls ready for school and packing to leave for Houston my daughter decided she needed to see a doctor. Understand that she is 29 years old and had been sick off and on for a couple of weeks. After several hours of waiting and a few tests they decided to admit her. Being in a small town that meant that the nurse pushed the wheel shair that she was all ready in through the double doors and to the nurses station where they were getting a room ready for her. Two days of antibiotics and fluids and she was ready to go home and get something to eat. Hospital food is still hospital food.

I forgot....

Mother had been sick and so I have been staying near her room. That means I have been doing some small paintings

What we do....

Every Friday Makayla, Emily, my mother and I go to one of the nursing homes and sing with the residents. When the weather is better and mother can get out again we are planning to have a dress-up tea party. I am going to gather up as many hats, scarves, feather boas and jewelry as I can find and we are going to play dress up. I think the people at the nursing home will have fun and Emily and Makayla will, too.
My grand children are missing the opportunity to dress up in their grandmother's old clothes. Well, now that I think of it, I don't have a lot of dresses or skirts for them to play in and I defiantly don't have hats. I made all of the Halloween costumes. Gwynyth has a complete wardrobe of costumes and the cousins have a wonderful time playing together.

When my sister and I were young we played "army" using WWI drill rifles that belonged to my grandfather. No one driving by thought they were real or called the police. I can't tell you how many times I was "shot" off the clothes line pole. And to think, I wasn't wearing a helmet or pads. I can't count the number of times my bare foot slipped off the bike peddle and I scraped the skin off of my toes on the sidewalk. I firmly believe that my skin and blood reinforced the concrete and are the reason those sidewalks are still there 50+ years later.

Lion Or Lamb

This was the strangest February for weather I can remember, even by West Texas standards. It has been uncommonly warm for this time of year. Tuesday saw a high of 80 and a low of 36 degrees. The wind is usually the first sign of Spring bringing sandstorms in April. This year we had winds in January and February in excess of 68 miles per hour ripping of roofs, tearing down fences and knocking over semi-trucks and trailers. Anywhere else weather like that would have a name and a spot on the weather channel. I can't help but wonder what March will bring.

Hobbies, Cradts and Games

I just found that a subscription to "Parents Magazine" is listed on eBay under Hobbies, Crafts & Games. People have a warped view of parenting. That's what's wrong with the country. Parenting is not a hobby. It's a full time job that is 24/7. There is no retirement, over-time, sick days or vacation. The parents commitment should begin before the child's birth and never ends. Even though your children your job continues. The results of that commitment will go on generation after generation. Even after your children are grown your job as a parent continues.

To me, a craft is "hand work". Parenting is "heart work". The gift you give your child and each child you come in contact with is multiplied many times over.

If you ever had any doubt about it, please understand that this is no game. Games come with instructions; children do not. There are many times that parenting is not fun (I am in my 32nd year as a member of PTO) but the benefits are priceless.

By the way, I am a firm believer that one does not become a parent through biology but by love. Science has been able to create life but not parents. That comes from the heart and soul.

Hobbies, Crafts & Games; I don't think so.

   

...you could poke your eye out.

We have all heard it before. Because I wear eyeglasses all of the time I considered them to be enough eye protection. A few days ago I was on the riding mower trying to fight west Texas weeds before the winds started blowing again when the mower ran out of gas. Since I was going into town later I decided to get more gas then instead of making a special trip. I ended up with more errands to run so it was getting dark when we returned home. I asked my son to drive the van around front while I put the gas in the mower and drove it to the front yard. It was getting dark quickly and I didn't see a low hanging branch. I'm sure you can guess the rest. No permanent damages but annoying.

.......and it isn't even Spring.

One of the things I learned after moving to West Texas was that one of the first signs of Spring was a sand storm. This one started Monday afternoon and let up 24 hours later. I understand that there is another one forecast for tomorrow. This is an unusual thing for January. Wind gusts were 66 MPH. High profile vehicles were warned to stay off of the roads. Fences blew down and signs were relocated. A tree in my yard that I had been planning to have removed,...well, I don't have to worry about cutting it down. I am thankful that it didn't fall on the house. The fence took the brunt of it.

We are suppose to have high winds again tomorrow and again Thursday but the weekend should be beautiful.

It has come to my attention......

I suppose we all have moments of clarity; those time that you see life and your place in it. Well, it wasn't pretty. This particular revelation came about as the result of a death of my mother's brother-in-law. Chris, Mother's sister-in-law and best friend died several years ago. She and her husband, Bob, live in another town but there was hardly a day that went by that they didn't talk on the phone. Mother is an only child and said that Chris was the closest thing she had to a sister.
In the days before Chris died she was planning to come here and stay with Mother while I went to do a Heart Association walk for a step-sister who had died a few months earlier. Not that Mother needed someone to care for her. They just loved spending time together. Chris called after I left to say that she wasn't feeling well and wasn't going to make it. Mother called the next day to check on her and was told that Chris didn't feel like coming to the phone. Mother told Bob that he needed to get her to a doctor. With her history of diabetes she could dehydrate rapidly. Bob and Doug,the 50+ year old son who also lived in the house, did nothing until it was too late. The details of her death and her condition horrified the hospital staff and the funeral director.
.....and now Bob is dead....I had to wonder if he had laid for days dying.....but I digress.
There are people who make a difference and people who take up space. I see myself as one of the later; just taking up space. In this world I don't think that is worthwhile...
to be continued

So Begins A New Year....

If the first day of the new year is any indication, I'm in BIG trouble. I knew it was going to get cold (15 degrees) so I left the water dripping in the shower in an effort to prevent the pipes form freezing. (country living) There was not enough dripping so..... This 100 year old ranch house(not as impressive as it sounds) has been added onto so many times there is a separate water line for my mother's bathroom. As a result, she had water and the rest of the house did not.
Later in the day she asked me to look at her water heater and, sure enough, the water had died.
Even later; the pipes thawed so there is running water through out the house. It is not, however, hot.
Looks like this year is going to be interesting