Continued....

October 15, 2008 - Just before I went to Arkansas to help care for my father I heard that my college choir director, who is an ordained Methodist minister, would be moving to the FUMC in Brownfield. It was confirmation that it was time to go back to church. I was in contact with her during the time I was in Arkansas and she was one of the people I called when my father died. My mother, son and I have attended services for the past two weeks and are ready to join. I am still afraid. Several of the people who caused so much trouble at the other church are at FUMC. I don’t want to deal with them. My reluctance aside, I am attending choir practice tonight.
If this seems to be anti-climactic, it really isn't. Attending church has brought back the pain of the other one's death. One that I have not dealt with. Even years later I cannot discuss it without tears. I avoid driving past the building where I spent years working and worshiping. Now, I will be nest door.