December 9, 2009

I suppose I was more prepared for this day last year. Daddy had only been gone 2 1/2 months. Now....I miss him.

IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME

What a roller coaster life is for most of us, When I began this blog it was suppose to be a journal; a place to purge. But I grew up in the 'wonder years', when words were tempered and feelings were suppressed. So I softened my words and commented wryly when Ii wanted to scream and cry. I shied away from this forum; this place that vethat should have been a haven.

It'a been awhile....

It's been a long time since I have written. The roller coaster ride continues but that is part of life. I must include this comic today as it is fitting.

Double click on the cartoon and it will enlarge.

This week......

Hopefully things will go better than last week. On my birthday I was told that I had the choice of spending $1,000 to 1,800 on my van or buying a new one. I chose to repair rather than purchase. I hope it will be ready tomorrow.
I should have been working on jewelry for the last 3 months but have been stagnant. I have the problem of AAADD. Someone described me so well. Substitute Dr Pepper fpr Pepsi.
KNOW THE SYMPTOMS.....PLEASE READ!

Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder. Somehow I feel better even though I have it!!

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing. I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier..
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full.
So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.
But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.
I take my check book off the table, and see that there is only one check left.
My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk
where I find the can of Pepsi I'd been drinking.
I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Pepsi aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over.
The Pepsi is getting warm, and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.
As I head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need water.
I put the Pepsi on the counter and discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.
I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table. I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I'll be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers. I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.
So, I set the remote back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day: the car isn't washed the bills aren't paid, there is a warm can of Pepsi sitting on the counter, the flowers don't have enough water, there is still only 1 check in my check book, I can't find the remote, I can't find my glasses, and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all damn day, and I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail....

Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!!

Tomorrow, April 23

Tomorrow is my birthday. That is it's self is no big deal but the number....I will be 61 years old tomorrow. I'm amazed. I didn't think I would make it past my teens. I actually did my best and by all accounts shouldn't have survived the 60's. So here I am, 61. It's an awkward age. Not old enough for medicare; too old for keggers. I suppose I should give up my comfy jeans and invest in polyester knits....NAAHH!

The last few birthdays have come as a surprise to me. I am more comfortable with who I am. I have wonderful friends who accept my weird side. I can laugh at things that would have mortified me even 15 years ago. I have learned that very little I do is going to affect the world 100 years from now but I can make a difference. I want to try to smile more, hug more and let people know they are important to me. I want to sing without worrying that someone will hear.
If I managed to clean my workspace and organize, it wouldn't be a bad thing.

The Studio Continues....

The first set of doors are up. We still have some decisions to make about the finish for the doors. Don't you love the hinges?

It really was.....

I accidentally bought a kiln on eBay. I suppose that's what I get for not being able to sleep. Anyway, there was an auction for a Paragon with a starting price of 99.00. So I bid 99.00. I thought that someone else would bid or there would be a reserve price but I was wrong. Now I am going to make a trip to Arizona to pick it up. I don't know when but I think it would make a nice birthday present for me.

Adding loving hearts.....

Saturday we made a trip to Clovis NM to see two rescued dogs. I don't know that anything would have made any difference. We had all ready decided that they would be coming home with us. Emily, who is eight, was there to welcome the new family members. Hooligan,a black and white cocker spaniel, was thrilled with everything. I think it's their nature. He danced and turned in circles, wagging his whole body.
Darcy was another story. She is a 6 month old Bernese Mountain Dog mix who has been abused. She was lying in the yard in a heap. watching but not participating. In the hour I sat on the ground with her she finally rested her head in my hand. When it was time to leave she had to be carried to the van.
The entire back of the van was covered in pillows and blankets. Hooligan decided he wanted to sit with Emily. Darcy rode with her head down. We stopped in Lubbock to let friends meet our new additions. Hooligan was all over the place. Darcy lifted her head but wouldn't get out. At home I had to carry Darcy to the yard and then from the yard to the house. Every time we went outside she had to be carried. She was physically able to walk but she was so scared.
Fast forward......All four of our dogs went to Lubbock to the vet's. Darcy is about 6 months old and weighs 37.8 pounds. She is healthy and now has her tags. She runs and plays in the yard with the others. There is still a problem with the door and anyone standing in the doorway but things are getting better.
Hooligan is younger than we thought, 18 months, and is pest and disease free. He will be neutered next week. Shhhh......
Rajah, at 14 years is amazing. When we got home Darcy was reluctant to get out of the van so Rajah went back and got her.
Sammy is fat. He is a barrel shaped Mini Pin.

Construction continues.....

Things are really taking shape with the studio. Costs are a lot more than I budgeted but then I know nothing about building. We went to Lubbock and spent almost $800 on lumber for framing and plywood. It's going to be wonderful!

Kiln Builders Extroidinaire

Our venture into building a salt kiln began Friday with moving 2000 bricks.
Work began Friday afternoon and went on until late that night.


Saturday morning we were back at work.


Saturday was an full day of work and food and beer and fun and wine and laughter.

An Interesting Day......

Tom called yesterday and said he was thinking about getting tickets for a musical and asked if I wanted to go. Silly question! We went out to eat at Gardski's, a Lubbock favorite. Jerry and I agree that they have the best hamburgers. After enjoying our meal we headed to the Civic Center for a production of "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat". It was a wonderful performance. The singers were good and everyone seemed to be having a good time. The music department at First United Methodist Church puts on a couple of plays during the year but this is the first one I have attended. Good food, good music and good friends.

The slab is finished

Today the rest of the slab was poured. I think it's 24X25 feet. Tomorrow the framing will begin.

a Long Time Coming.....

Today the first load of concrete was poured. It's going to look a lot like a garage but it will be my studio, my place to work, create and teach. It's hard to believe that's it's been almost 14 years since I put my kids in the car and left almost everything I owned. But they were just things. I saved what was important.

Gun ownership in Texas

Gun ownership in Texas

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It's all in the way you see things.

Our friendship began in high school, 43 years ago. We shared some of the most traumatic times of our lives as well as some of the most wonderful times. She knew more about me than anyone and I trusted her with that knowlege. No matter how long it had been since we had spoken our visits picked up as if we had seen each other the day before. Her courage and strength were amazing. Her faith was unwavering. Her love for family and friends had no limits.
Sue left this life on February 4, 2009. I called her husband that evening to ask him to tell her that I loved her. He said, "Sue is gone". I was in shock. There wasn't much sleeping done that night or in the nights since. I tried to rationalize, telling myself that he meant she wasn't in the room. It has taken 3 days for me to get to the part of accepting
I am comforted by the understanding that Sue will forever be a part of every person who who's life she touched. I was fortunate to know her. Her memory will be with me even though she is not.

Global Warming....

It's true that we have had a relatively mild winter so far but this past week we had a severe freeze. Unlike the millions of homes in the northern states, we did not lose power and for that I am grateful. I did get up one morning to find that there was no water. I assumed that I had not left the water dripping enough and that the pipes were frozen. It's one of the hazards of living in the country.
Being a town dweller most of my life has made me take things like water and electricity for granted. When I turned on the water and nothing happened I thought that all I had to do was wait for the thaw. After all, it had worked in the past. When the temperatures rose and we still didn't have water I decided to investigate. Behind the house is the pump house for the well. It no longer houses the pump but does have pipes, the tank and the electrical breaker box for the pump. Not something I ever had to deal with when I lived with city utilities.
As I approached the pump house I noticed water seeping underneath the door. Except for the absence of penguins on surfboards, opening that door was a cartoon moment. Water poured out! I found myself drenched in icy water with more gushing from the broken pipe in the back and another pipe that had come loose next to the breaker box. Read that: next to the breaker box. So what would any reasonably intelligent person do in this scenario? Exactly, I reached across the spewing water and turned off the electricity. As I was walking out of the pump house, thanking God for watching over fools, my son, son-in-law and a friend drove up. They fixed the pipes and we had water in less than an hour.
I can't imagine living anywhere that I can hear a car or see a neighbor. I love to look out the kitchen window and see everything from common morning doves to Prairie Chicken. It's a thrill to watch the hawks swooping and diving. In comparison the pump is a small matter.

As I try to recover...

It seems that after the death of Tanja all of my defenses vanished. Not only did I become depressed but I became physically ill. I have lived on Ramen noodles for over a week since they don't really require cooking or chewing; both of which were difficult for me. I may be able to actually swallow without pain tomorrow.
While I recover I hope you will enjoy this:

http://www.lordsprayermovie.com/

Tanja, Queen of the Fairies

Tanja was the name chosen by my daughter for this funny puppy. She and her husband found her in the parking lot of a Walmart in Lake Charles, La on Thanksgiving of 1999. She was a ball of fur, spots and stripes; evidence of her German Shepherd/Blue Healer heritage. I'm not sure if, even then, she resembled the Queen of the Fairies that was the Celtic definition of her name.
Because of their move to an apartment in Houston and my granddaughter's allergies Tanja came to live with me. She became my friend and confidant. She was a clown, a protector and snake hunter. Tanja loved me unconditionally. Her way of getting my attention was a nudge at my elbow or make a noise in her throat. She wanted to talk and tried in Scooby-Doo fashion. I have never had a dog like her. Even her problems with one of my other dogs didn't change how much she meant to me.
I buried Tanja on Saturday, January 10, 2009. I miss her so much.

It Might Read Like This....

Our local paper is published 2 times a week and takes about 15 minutes to read cover to cover. In order to add something to the "news" I look for the humorous items. Several years ago there was a letter to the editor from a man who wanted the paper to issue a correction. In a story about the man it was stated that he had been sentenced to 5 years when the sentence was actually 7 years. I suppose he wanted to make sure no one planned a welcome back party 2 years too early.
So today I was reading the paper and saw an ad in the Lost and Found section. The ad was for a lost dog. My mother has a dog who has all of the negative attributes of my ex-husbands. I thought about the add I might place if he were lost.
MISSING-male Miniature Pincer, shorter that he will admit. He answers to nothing and does what he wants. He believes that the world is his urinal and that every thing is about him. He barks and growls at anything and expects everyone to jump to do his bidding. He is demanding ,unappreciative and expects your undivided attention.

If you find him, Good Luck. This ad has been placed anonymously and was paid for with an
untraceable money order.

Happy New Year!